Thursday, September 24, 2009

Teen Rangers With Robots

Chances are, if you lived through the '90s in the English-speaking world, you have some small notion of what the term "Power Rangers" refers to. Originating with a '70s era Japanese live action series which spawned a series of sequels that are now produced on a yearly basis, Power Rangers involves pretty much the same thing, recycling Japanese footage and blending it (sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much) with footage from an American (or Australian, or New Zealander) studio. A team of usually young individuals ("teenagers with attitude," in the infamous parlance of the first episode) works to defeat evil with flashy costumes and weapons, martial arts, and obscenely big robots.

Far be it from me to try to summarize it here, or even at my other blog, which is dedicated to the subject (and which I need to update more often... sigh). Google it for yourself if you want information. (I'll point out that Joe Rovang has a really nice fansite. Not for neophytes, but, y'know...)

Anyway, the matter of Golden Age comic books, and coincidences.

We join Jackie Law and the Boy Rangers. (How do you get a name like Jackie Law? I had a professor at college named J. Justice, but seriously...)

Jackie Law and his Boy Rangers are a gang of kids who beat up criminals, in the same tradition as lots of child-endangerment schemes. Er... Never mind. The point is, they fight gangsters and even Nazi spies, and they're better at it than adults. What.

Other than those things, you might wonder what they have in common with Power Rangers. Observe.

These kids investigate some gunshots and stuff, and end up catching the dying breaths of some inventor guy, who was shot by Nazi spies.

They come back again later after the police have left, wondering what kind of invention the guy was talking about. And so do the Nazi spies, including Luger, whose head luckily provides them with the information they need.

How fortunate, eh?

So what's the invention?

Guess.

If you saw it coming, it's because I telegraph like a Morse code master.

Anyway, they destroy some Nazi tanks that somehow get smuggled into the country...

Of course, anybody could do that with a proper giant robot. Let's see 'em give the robot to the military so some trained professionals can-

Never mind. Do you think that's foreshadowing there?

If you don't, well, no offense but you're slow.

So they're hunting a crime boss named Khron for no apparent reason. And when they meet him, he's got a lever.

Tip: Don't stand still when a crook is holding a lever. Because this might happen.

Of course, it begs the question "Why don't you just stand up, you morons?!"

But they don't, and they get out of the robot and become captives, while Khron takes the robot and steals hard workers' salaries.

Tip: If you've got a giant tank-smashing robot, don't think small...

Also, watch out for construction vehicles.

What.

So, what next?

They never use Loco again, that's what.

Seriously.

-Signing off.

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