Friday, May 15, 2009

Movie/Comic Crossovers Are Dumb...

...and I mean that in the cruel way, not the kind way.

Let's look at any of the crossovers between the Alien or Predator franchise and DC comics.

Predators pose a threat to Martian Manhunter? Riiiiight. (Martian Manhunter can counter the Predators' invisibility with his own, one-up them with his intangibility, find them and immobilize them with his telepathy and telekinesis, and even if they tag him with a spear or whatever, it's not like they could kill him so easily as they could humans via dismemberment.)

Aliens stand a chance against the Green Lantern Corps? Suuuuure. (According to this, the xenomorphs caused damage to the ecosystem of Mogo. I can accept this, but Green Lanterns have forcefields, energy beams, and more, while the xenomorphs have quick adaptation and acidic blood. Woooo, acidic blood! Scary! The Green Lantern who gets killed by a xenomorph was either completely surprised and severed from his ring, which would have protected him from mortal harm, or an incompetent buffoon.)

Of course, the reason we see this kind of utter bull is because the movie franchises have tons of clout and it wouldn't be "cool" to have the comic book characters curb stomp the movie characters. Even though, to me at least, it'd be highly entertaining.

I mean, even the Yars, who are really "video game characters," would pretty much not be threatened by the likes of a xenomorph or Predator at all. While I can accept that an unprotected Yar might be killed if caught alone and by surprise, they have energy missiles that can vaporize solid rock and can fly from planet to planet under their own power. Sure, it takes a lot of bullets or whatever to stop a xenomorph (I suppose-I confess I've never seen even a bit of the movie, and the only part of the franchise I've seen was a little bit of the one where they bring Ripley back as a half-Alien clone thing or whatever the heck was going on in that, and a few hits in the head with an assault rifle seemed to stop them pretty good), but if a Yar can vaporize solid rock, it's not going to be very threatened by something that can be stopped by bullets.

And even if the xenomorphs or Predators or whatever the heck were dangerous enough to make living with them too unpleasant, the Yars could just leave.

So, yeah, if there are going to be crossovers between these franchises and comics, they should be "by proxy," for instance the Brood. Because they can be made to make sense there with some effort.

-Signing off.

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